Sretena Anna Novic Poetry

1. Kingdom

2. Let my ashes be returned to the moon

3. Step by step of motion

4. On some staircase

5. Does the old age starts when we stop dreaming?

6. My prayer is a swanlike winged dog

7. A life passes by in front of me

8. Who is going to judge

9. I live in an armor of fear

10. In the mirror of life nothing is clear

11. I empower you to build a world and take a new road

12. If I ever die

13. Everything has its time and hour

14. A Wall

15. Awakening

16. If you don’t wake up one day you’ll be sorry

17. My painful heart is cracked long ago

18. When the shadow of the last resurrection

 

Awakening

Long ago, I’ve promised to myself
to write my story, for me,
for the people I love,
for this variegated world.
One life it is.
A trace left behind me
will be visible and clear,
to show that I’ve existed
in this profuse world.
Me, for what I am, and what I’ll be.
It’s my need to tell, to find out
why one have lived before, 
what the one behind be touching.

My age helps me feel
that I really exist,
but I still ask myself:
was this existence worthwhile
in the experiment, called life?
I feel I am lasting for a long time now,
but I also feel my being is all in bloom
and I ask: Where are my imaginations?
Where is the goal and mission of my existence?
And while my hand moves feverishly
and leaving a trace on nothing:    
but on an empty space, on the paper,
I realize that my life shot fort
and was created of Nothing,
of Emptiness and Nothingness.
In my mere existence I wish
to touch the seeds of Me,
but deeper I search, closer   
to the surface I get pushed.
Therefore, I decide to let go,
to be what I am, now and here.
When I settle my accounts
I see nothing else left.

Sounds of the night have
always excited me, and kept me awake.
When the night and I meet,
we only want the truth.
I do believe my word spoken
can find an associate in a gloomy human,
in a being ungrateful to life
somebody like me, a human
listening to the same sounds,   
seeing the same views in front
I too like to see.
But the story’s not a story if it’s not told from the heart.
The human is not a human without own life.
And always at night, while looking at stars
I ask myself which one is born, and which is dying.
I contemplate the everlasting existence,
but I also know that beasts of everyday life 
exist in me too...
Therefore, sometimes, I wish
the night may never end,
the sunrise may never happen.
Then, my star too could glow forever.

And I’m seating all with myself
until the early morning hours,
the morning and dawn overcome me,
until new fears reach
the most distant part of me.
And when my limbs turn numb,
and when I ask myself
Are there people like me?
Then, I pretend to enjoy
the sunshine and light,
everything that same light brings to me.
Then, traces of departure
of all farewells uttered
awake in me.

Before, while making love with the ocean,
giving myself away completely,
at parting, all that remained was fear.
And I’ve wanted so much
to store in me the whole large space
to the end of my awareness.
And that the sand, long after awakening,
warms my feet.
And I wanted to bestow my soul
upon the ocean...
But fears prevented me to do that.

 

One night, I’ve met a strange apparition
by that same, broad and swelling,
and murmuring love ocean.   
And we have been walking,
looking at each other
breathing in the same way,
together we were laying on the same soft sand. 
A strange apparition – my shadow and me,
alone in the cosmos.
And waves, heralds of the deep ocean were there.
Before dawn, we’ve parted again,
like secret lovers.
On that night it was forever.
And the next dawn I’ve asked myself:
Has that apparition lived in me
or have I lived in it? For a moment at least.
And on the next night I looked for
my apparition and found the moon only.
And the moon whispered a secret to me
while I was all on fire.
And on that night again,
I wanted to stay with him forever.

The moon was sadly looking at me.

I don’t understand the road of the parting.
And the infinity lives in me.
All my roads will remain behind me.
And all nights of my life are behind me.
I wonder if someone living
recognizes the self in me? 
Or am I secretly linked with
the ocean and with the moon?
But it would be impossible,
completely impossible.
And that’s why
it’s more and more difficult
to recognize myself.
Because that’s not me as I believed I was,
and those were not falls I was flinching of.
Like many others,
I belong to some other, not this one, visible sky.

And the nights are mine and I’m theirs.
And the ocean is my gorgeous lover.
The one I want to merge with, finally,
without fear and defeats.
We, all alone in the universe, forever!
If forever exists on this side of existence.

My breath can touch each of my pores,
and every vein in me filled-with-blood, existence.
A whirl of many ones moves in me,
my land lives in me,
my soul cries out
for the primordial appeasement.
It’s harder and harder for me
to separate life from death.
The night is my consolation and my darkness,
The past is nonexistent for me.
Now and here is all I have,
and merged with freedom I am, I exist!

 

 
© 2007 Slobodan's Abstract Art